'till Divorce Does Us Part @ C4L

TILL DIVORCE DOES US PART
by Charla Stilling
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Oh Romeo, Romeo, Where did you go Romeo? Does society as a whole long for the fairy tale romance to such a large degree that Hollywood's so-called marriage appeals to us like hot cocoa on a blustery winter day? The flair, the glitter, the guest lists fascinate us. Even the flowers, that by the way cost more than most of us make in a whole year, are of the greatest interest. Where did old-fashion love, romance, courtship, and growing old together go? When did "Until Death do us part" become "Till divorce do us part?"

In a crowded coffee shop on a Saturday evening, I am sitting at my corner table sipping on a tall latte while reading a book on photography. I overhear a conversation that grabs my attention, so I decide to eavesdrop. Two middle-aged women have appeared at a table about ten feet from me. Obviously friends out to catch up on a little girl time. I watch them as they are settled. I notice one of the women is pregnant, very pregnant. She has a comforting piece of cheesecake to accompany her cup of coffee. The other woman is in "coffee only" mode but has snatched a magazine off the for sale shelf to catch up on a little reading while chatting with her friend during their probably well deserved evening out.

The pregnant woman is busy eating her cheesecake while her friend starts to give a play by play on the subject matter of the magazine she is reading. I am guessing it is a Hollywood buzz magazine, when I hear her say "Look at that Star Jones, she's alright and all but I mean she ain't all that." Her friend nods her head in agreement. "Although I have to say she does look like she lost a little weight for her wedding day." The other woman glances over at the picture of Star Jones and gives a look as if it may or may not be true. " I have to say that is one beautiful wedding. Look at those flowers." By this time, her friend is only half finished with her dessert, unable to add any verbal comment. " She looks so happy, I wonder how long it will last? Hopefully long enough to justify the cost of those flowers!" The women laugh, " I know one thing, that is not her real hair." Again they laugh. I even laugh as I get up from my table.

Down the way sits a young couple, seemingly on a date. Their appearance is very Colorado-hip, her with her long brown hair in dreadlocks and him with his eyebrow piercing and tattoos. They are sitting on a bench outside the main area where several people assemble just to read the headlines or gather information from the thousands of magazines that are lined along the wall. I am walking up and down in front of the wall looking for something on photography to accompany the book I am reading at my table, where my Latte sits getting cold. I notice the girl elbow her boyfriend and say, " Look how much Brad Pitt and his brother look alike." I think to myself, "more Hollywood gossip?" Therefore, I slow my pace to bag a little more commentary. I glance over out of curiosity to see what the guy is reading. It is a tattoo magazine. He does not seem very interested in what she is saying but takes the time to look over while she continues, "I can't believe that Brad and Jen broke up. It's so sad." He smiles at her with sympathy and goes back to the wonderful art of tattooing. She goes on, " I really thought if anyone were going to make it, it would be those two, they were so perfect together." The boyfriend looks at her and very sincerely states "They were married for four years." She acknowledges the fact and ends the conversation. She seemed to know exactly what he meant; I on the other hand did not, but decided against asking. I locate my magazine and go back to my table where I find my latte is cold. I finish my research on when to get the best photos of wildlife and wrap up my night with a quick glance around the coffee shop. I note that at least half of the people there are reading Hollywood buzz magazines.

As I drive back home, I tune into the radio. I usually listen to Christian music but I like all kinds of music, so I channel surf. I come across the station that is programmed on my car stereo as number two. A pop/ rap/ rock type music station. My thirteen-year-old daughter is the only one in the family who listens to it on a regular basis so she refers to it as her station. I stopped on "her station" to listen to a survey question being asked of the listening audience. I am a sucker for radio talk shows and surveys. The question of the night is " What did a recent survey say 1 in 4 troubled marriages would benefit from if they were to put money aside for this every month?' Many callers responded with answers like a second honeymoon, vacation, babysitter, therapy, etc. I listened to at least 25 callers before one got the right answer. It was Prozac.

I decided to listen to the broadcast the next night to see what the survey question for Sunday would be. By this time, I am curious to find out what else my daughter along with thousands of other teenagers and young adults are getting in the way of entertainment and information. I am floored when I hear the question of the day. "Which is better, a roll in the hay with your significant other or a one night snack with a side dish?" I did not listen to all the responses because I grew weary of the mockery over the idea of a monogamous relationship. Seemingly, most of that audience would rather have sex with someone they hardly know instead of someone who they claim to love. I also took this opportunity to talk to my thirteen-year-old daughter about "her station."

Why are we shocked when our beloved Hollywood couples wedding bliss is over faster than our new car loses its new car smell? Why do DJ's encourage teenagers and young adults to take sex with a grain of salt? Who are the people being surveyed? Who are the people doing the surveys? Why have our marriages become institutions that are held together with bandages and pills?

Life is not a fairy tale. Marriage is not always in a castle and you do not always get a prince on a white horse. Remember Prince Charles and Lady Diana? Was it not everyone's fairy tale wedding? Complete with the girl, the prince, and the horse. It broke our hearts with the not-so fairy tale divorce. Forget the pills, the glamour, and the side dishes. Instead hold hands, take long walks, keep kissing, never stop dating, honor your vow, and be at the bedside when your best friend draws their last breath. In this case, we might save ourselves a lot of pain if we stay inside the box.

I am thankful for my grandparents, who have been married for 56 years; they have reflected to me love and shown me how to believe in marriage. You can create a relationship that can ride out the storms of life because you both learn to paddle. You can overcome the boredom with laughter, the repetition with spontaneity, the day to day with day by day. You can spend time watching each other grow and helping to fulfill dreams, taking pride in all you become as individuals and as a couple. You can live your life with the person you love and enjoy it

Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden with only two things, the clothes on their backs and their institution of marriage. Have you ever wondered where we would be if they had divorced over that little apple thing?

God institutes marriage in Gen. 2:23,24 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh.

You may contact Mrs. Stilling at: charlastilling@hotmail.com